I wish I was born without a uterus

This will probably go beyond being childfree, but at least here I won't get flack for saying the title.​

I have jealousy of women who were naturally born without a uterus. It's sad for them if they wanted kids, but those who were childfree anyway? That's the dream. Even better to be born without a cervix and full vagina too, I think. That's a few less things in the body to get cancer.

Aside from what the ovaries do to maintain my "health" (there is pain, but I guess I am not suffering in menopause since they work still), most of the time I feel ungrateful for being..."whole"

When I was going through puberty, most girls I knew were on the bandwagon with it. Socially I was not normal, so I was upfront about how frightening and gross it all was, and told to be quiet it was natural.

Well, yeah, but not MY natural. Of course I've gotten used to them, but what purpose do those organs serve me now? I knew when I got my period that I wasn't going to use them for their intended purpose. The fact that I have the function bothers me, and I have to suffer with or without being pregnant!!! I think I have PMDD and possibly Endo because the type and severity of pain, along with feeling so sick and out of it. Before and during.

Then I have one good week. ONE. My uterus, as it prepares the nest for a child that will never be, makes my body happy and normal for that week until it freaks the fuck out when the egg dies and rips everything down (honestly I do feel ripping and tearing sensations during bleeding and people wonder why I hiss and grab my stomach wtf)

Until then, I am lighter, mentally sound(ish) and feel like my child self honestly if I ignore everything else.

Another thing is when I was going through puberty, and going into it, I remember specifically thinking, "why do *I* have to do this? I didn't ask for this, I just want to play video games!"

Womanhood wasn't a right of passage for me, it was a punishment.

I very much wish I was a barbie doll. Look like a woman (which I am fine with), but have no functions of one 😅