Do I have to change as I get older?

Its hard to explain but long story short, I have an immense fear of growing older. Among my biggest issues is in how others will perceive me.. I'm gonna be honest, I'm not an overly tough person. I'm nerdy, sensitive, and underachieving beyond belief so I have gained an odd new fear, possibly stemming off another issue involving my own loneliness, where I got scared of how people will change their perception of me as I age.

Very silly, I know, but I have really not wanted anything more than to be precious to someone and when I say precious I mean like- baby-able. Dear to somebody. Not in like just a normal romantic way or platonic way or whatever but all together precious-but I fear when I age l'il lose my sorta cuteness factor, if you know what I mean?

As l age I will be expected to act more like "a grown man", and I understand that, I don't plan to be an immature bum or anything- but I hate the idea of

"grown man" meaning I have to abandon all non-manly interests and having to be rough and tough for everyone and all that..

The whole idea of changing in general disgusts me in terms of how I'd be expected to behave. I hate the idea of living such an un-cared for existence. Again, I feel childish, and I definitely don't plan to just sit in a basement and be a waste or anything but the world is serious telling me I only have between like anywhere from 18-21, to 18-25, to 18-30 (depending on who you may ask) to dare desire to be doted on?

I'm willing to dote back, but my god. Doting doesn't just mean like being cared for in practical ways to me mind you, I mean this in the being held and comforted and just treated like I'm dear to someone in general.

this is prolly just my abandonment or loneliness or whatever issues doing full round but stillll

(TLDR- I'm young and am scared of aging because I don't wanna be "macho tough" all the time or whatever rather than seen as someone that can be cared for. Not in the bum way but in the getting a gentle tone every once in a while, or being held maybe.)

bad grammar and punctuation because i been awake 2 days straight and don't see any point in making this perfectly smooth rn