Sick of being told "You have to be your own Partner" and to treat yourself as such by friends with long term loving partners.

I can understand the sentiment but every thing I've ever read has been clear that the real relational healing starts once you're in a good healthy secure and safe relationship. When I complain to my friends about how lonely I am and how much I want to, idk, experience life with someone, like go on dates and go to restaurants and go on holidays (ALL things they do with their partners) they tell me the same shit. Well, why don't you go to a restaurant on your own? :) Why don't you take yourself on a date? :) Have you ever thought of solo travelling? :) (The latter being something they have NEVER done or considered for their own lives)

Like come on.

I want to dress up nice and go to a nice restaurant WITH someone. I want to experience that WITH someone. It's like, 5% of the fun to dress up and go somewhere and the other 95% is doing it with someone who gives you butterflies and is excited to spend time with you. I don't understand why I have to lay that out for them? I feel insane?

No I don't want to fkcing solo travel. I hate my own company. I get bored easily. I want to experience travelling with a loved one. I want to try new foods with someone. I want to go on a walk with someone in a new city. Again, I feel crazy, isn't it obvious why I wouldn't want to solo travel? Solo travelling has never been something I find appealing, and it's not appealing for them either and they KNOW this, and yet its brought up as an option when I say I want to travel with a partner. HELLO? i said WITH a partner?!?!?!? Yes I want to see a world but I want to do it WITH someone and I don't think im asking for the world here??

I don't understand why this hasn't happened for me and I feel like such a loser. Im in my 30's and partners ive had in the past basically hated me. I feel so left out and unwanted.

ALSO. I do do things by myself! I have to! I go to the cinema by myself, I go for walks by myself, I make big extravagant dinners for myself. I have pamper evenings and do baths and face masks and i do so much for myself and by myself. If i want to try a new restaurant either I have to get it on takeaway OR ask my friend to go and MAYBE they'll spend a precious evening away from their partner and spend it with me. Whenever they reach out to me and ask to hang out it's because their partner is out of town, and do they think I dont see that!

UGH