My toxic trait as a player

I was DM for my friends for around 3 years and I stopped being a player about 2 years ago. Now a friend who was my player wants to dming i was sharing my ideas for my characters traits and dreams, in a nutshell i want her to be a character focused on being heroic based on absolute wonder woman. He never let me talk about it when i said i had an idea he starts interrupting me… so i get mad at him and started talking about technicalities and imposible plans for my character just to make him mad.

He started talking like some toxic dms i know because i was one of their players… they are awful people even with sex assault charges. Which is irrelevant but i want to give context about my inappropriate reaction to my friend’s comments and how it triggered my trauma and reaction. I try to explain to him that i just want to talk about my character not to forced him to do anything but i was angry and ended up saying things like y wanted to multiclass and shit like that just to overwhelm him…knowing is his first time as a Master.

I really wanted to tell him i did it to overwhelm him but i decided to just take the blame of meta gaming and being a bad player. Still when i get mad i overwhelm people to make them feel bad and angry. So yeah it oftenly happens on dnd specially when i took a decision that no one expected and i ended rolling a high number…and everyone else just burst to me to take a decision. I really hope that it doesn’t happen anymore and it’s a me problem that can be solved…