My partner (M) and I (F), of 5 years, have never been intimate. Is this just horrific timing or am I missing something?

Hey. The title is pretty blunt on what I’m struggling to figure out and most details are changed slightly to keep anonymity. We are both older than 25 years old for age verification. My partner and I have been together for 5 years and currently live together. We sleep in the same bed together but we have not had a singular intimate interaction. I’ve tried buying lingerie and putting it on for him and genuinely just asking if he’s interested in sex with me (or in general) at all. He brushes me off if I’m in lingerie and doesn’t even acknowledge it. The last time I mentioned putting it on for him, all I got was that he was already in bed and tired from the day. When directly asked about sex he says he’s interested and thought about it but nothing ever comes from it. He hugs, kisses, and cuddles me like a lover but that’s as far as anything has ever gone. I feel like I’m doing something that’s turning him off or maybe he’s just not attracted to me but I don’t know why he wants to stay with me if he’s not attracted to me. He isn’t a virgin, because that was my first question. He’s had a handful of hookups in college and even one his friends accidentally walked in on that they harass him about still today. He has gone through a significant loss of a close immediate family member within the first year of us being together and I thought maybe that’s got his confidence down but I just don’t know anymore. Im usually a very confident woman but this has me questioning myself. I am genuinely at a loss and I want to help both of us.