Why do parents let there sons date around but are so nosey and stricter or their daughters? Advice on starting dating in 20s?

Hi!

I am 20f (black) and never dated or done anything with a guy. I’m just really frustrated because i have 4 brothers; 3 of them have girlfriends, dating before hitting their 20s, and can leave to hang out with them at any hours (especially at night).

I’ve recently started getting more attention and have some interest in dating, but everytime I’m talking to a guy, my mind immediately goes to my parents opinion.

I can’t even go to an all girls hangout without my mom questioning if a guy is going. If I want to dress cute for myself she always asks if men are going to be there. I was once talking to this guy, and things were starting to get serious and he wanted to meet up. I got so scared and kept on delaying because my mom always wants to know where I’m going. How can I explain to my parents that I’m meeting up with a guy for dinner without them asking to much? Anyways, I stopped talking to him, but I just noticed that I always pass on dates because I’m scared of my parents wanting to know much.

It was so bad to the point I had to ask my parents what are my rules for dating and stuff. Some of the stuff I can agree with, but those rules don’t apply to my brothers.

I just hate it because I feel like starting dating in your 20s is a common thing for black women (my whole friend group🥲). It’s not a bad thing, but they’re so many things we’re unknowingly naive too. Additionally, we may not be able to know what exactly works for you; dating style or love language.

I have hanged out with a guy one time, but I lied to parents saying I was with a trusted friend. Sadly, I was assaulted. I can’t tell anyone about it, especially not my parents. Looking back at the guy who did that, I think there were things I just thought were normal and things most guys would do, but now I’m learning that these were probably red flags.

I’m now only learning of things I wish for in a relationship and things I don’t. Not saying that me not dating before my 20s is a result of this incident. However, I have noticed that due to my lack of experience, I don’t understand things and I trust other people’s words too easily.

I’m soooo sorry for ranting, this post is pretty disorganized, but I genuinely don’t know how to navigate this. I feel like I can only date when I move out.