Any advice for calling out a bpd family member

Ok so Christmas’s was a shitshow , my brother had an episode which of course brought up all the unresolved trauma we all have from our lives .

During this episode he never acknowledged any responsibility he had in contributing to the lead up of the episode, nor any of his abusive behaviours during (screaming ,shouting & throwing things) it was completely everyone else’s fault , he also expected me and our other family members to come to his aid and support him when he emotionally crashed and shut himself in his room for two days . (Which no one did as we was all to scared to)

he did however acknowledge and apologise for the last violent episode (a very long time ago, we only see each other once every fue years) which is a major step and I could see the improvement in his ability to self regulate to some degree (tho he was still extremely emotionally volatile)

In this moment I can’t decide whether to try to re connect to resolve this episode or just cease any relationship with him .

————- If I did try to reconnect I would want him to acknowledge just how scary he can be and how then that changes my behaviour when I go into flight/fight/freeze . So no I’m not able to go and comfort him after he has been angry and violent.

Is this an unrealistic expectation I have? Does anyone have any advice for calling out a family member with bpd that won’t just fuel the drama.

I am reading general advice online but any personal experiences would also be greatly appreciated.