I’m so tired of people acting like getting childcare isn’t part of being a parent

I’ve been planning my wedding with my fiancé and we’re childfree, and want a childfree wedding.

This isn’t an issue with my friends that are parents, cause they haven’t given us any flack regarding this (we’re a queer couple and most of our friends are also queer and childfree, but those who do have kids are respectful). But I’ve been in a lot of wedding planning subs to help with the process and the amount of posts I see of couples getting judged for wanting childfree weddings is exhausting.

Comments are always filled with parents ranting and raving about not wanting to get childcare and how it will “hurt” the couples friends that are parents to not allow children and it will damage their relationships “over just one day” and I’m like. Yeah a day that is about THE COUPLE. The couple getting married and likely who spent a LOT of time and money on an event meant to celebrate them and their partnership.

Like it doesn’t even occur to them that a guest insisting on bringing a child that might end up disrupting a ceremony or reception might hurt the couple they supposedly care about, no it’s about how the mean nasty couple are hurting them by not allowing their child! And how they’ll never let it go or get over it because they had to get a baby sitter to attend their supposed friends’ wedding. Like the double standard of that is completely lost on them and they can’t consider the possible outcomes.

Like ok, let’s say the couple bends and allows a guest to bring their child. It’s possible that the child will: scream during the ceremony. Ruin decorations. Scream and cry during first dance. Stand on an expensive garment’s trail/veil and ruin it. Run around where they shouldn’t and cause an accident to happen.

If any of those things were to occur after the couple requested child free, I’d be FURIOUS with that friend for ruining my wedding. Especially if I told them not to bring kids and they insisted on doing so anyway.

But if the parent(s) actually accept that getting a babysitter every now and then is part of being a parent, get childcare and leave the kids at home, the possibility becomes: the parent will just have to survive one night without their kid and the couple will have a great wedding that doesn’t get ruined by the insistence of children being present.

I struggle to understand how the first scenario should just be considered acceptable and not affect the couples’ feelings or opinion of this hypothetical friend, but the second is an unforgivable crime against the parent(s) that they will never forget and will put are dark mark on the friendship for all time.