Multiplayer server help - crash course for a newbie required!

Hi all,

As the title states, I could use some help with ensuring a fun, safe multiplayer experience. I have not been an online gamer on a public server for years, and want to get back into it now that Project Zomboid unstable has multiplayer.

I can see straight away that there are dozens of servers, with precious few being whitelisted, only one of those in English, and that single one only has one other player.

So there's a bit of an etiquette question and also a safety question. If I just join a whitelisted server, am I going to piss people off who wanted to rp or something with an online group of specific people? Should I just give it a tey and see what happens?

Safety question, and apologies if I come across naive, but how do I ensure I don't run the risk of any kind of cybersecurity issue in joining a server? Is a whitelisted server safe in this regard?

Is there anything else I should know?

Thanks in advance. I'm based in the UK but open to joining anyone's server. Not planning to be a huge troll and go on the offensive, but perfectly up for some PvP if the situation arises. Just would like to survive and die with others. Not got a gaming friend group.