Is it always this “heady”?

My(26F) childhood friend (27M) and I discovered our sexual preferences after a drunk night together last year and turns out I’m domme and he’s submissive. We’ve always had this sexual tension?/ frustration around each other which we never really figured out despite a multi decade friendship. This revelation led us to some sadomasochism play involving choking/impact play but no actual sex/making out/full dressed. We were drunk and the feeling of seeing each other truly was intoxicating. I’m never mixing alcohol and kink ever again because I know better now. It was my first time drinking alcohol and I was a virgin so maybe that is why it felt so intoxicating. I’ve always known I like to be in control. We did it a few times and then brushed it under the carpet. I’ve tried to move past it but whenever we drink, he inevitably brings it up in some way to let me know he is still thinking about that. He’ll mention his sex life with his partner and how he tried to do those things with her as well but he cannot really submit because she’s submissive as well. I do not want to be involved at all in any of this. I set a boundary that we cannot talk about sex if we want to remain friends. He’s genuinely one of my closest friends and he is very sweet so I don’t know what to do. I love him a lot. But sometimes even when we’re just hanging out, I’ll see his pupils very heavily dilate and him breathing faster and flushed. I don’t have a lot in person experience so I don’t know if it’s normal to feel so magnetic and heady for another person.

A month ago, we had to be roomates for one month and it was normal at first but then after a few days, he started snapping at me, giving me the cold shoulder in group conversations, walking faster etc. I confronted him about this and he immediately apologised and said that he was sorry and will do better and he didn’t know why this was happening and that it happened only around me. This exact same situation also happened right before the drunk night one year ago. Is this sexual frustration? Do I trigger him? Does he resent me? It sometimes just feels like he hates me. I try not to take people’s emotions personally but the repeated emphasis on “this only happens with you” hurt me a lot.