A little bit of a relief

[Non native english speaker here so sorry in advance for any mistakes in the way I express myself]

Hi! I hope this doesn't come up as too intense lol but that may be my trauma talking.

I am looking for empathy I guess or a community that gets me. A friend recommended me to look here, in reddit.

I'm so tired. I am not working right now, like not formally. I am an independant psychologist and I love what I do but I stopped for a while and I'm comming back now, so I don't have much patients. A lot has happened lately (or it may be my age, 28 yr old) and I have been sooooo triggered. I jut feel I carry so much pain in my body and it's so easy to feel triggered and scared. I just came back to live with my parents after a relationship I felt very damaged in. Still not sure how much evilnes or intended manipulation was there. Back with my family I realise how much manipulation I suffered from my own mother and I suspect my father sexually abused me (I'm a female) but I can't tell for sure. I don't have any like for-sure-memories, it's just a feeling. I have been studying about trauma and it's sso hard to really understand when it's yourself. I'm so, so tired. Have been trying to get a formal job but last time I tried t was so hard as I got easily triggered by some people´s attitude and I am tired of myself being so sensitive when it seems so easy to others.

But! With time it has have some beauty too. I have learnt to keep my loving people close and the ones that feel weird far away. It has been beautiful and nurturing, but I feel like I'm still in the middle of a storm, trying to figure out who I am, what happenet, trying to let go and just keep going but it's like this force keeps bringing me backwords and sinking me under water.

Does anyone feel the same? Anyone who would like to talk? Or anything? IDK opinions? lol sos I feel so lonely my friends can't get ittttt