Not sure what to put here

I feel I've given everything I have. I have been the light for others, while living in a home of abuse. I get a job where my skills can shine, and the grief and reality numbs me to a point I don't care. I've failed my artistic ambitions. I'm not really a real person to anyone. I have a cat I love. I think he would be okay. I don't see the point in performing a life that has no value to anyone around it. People project envy and distrust to me when I leave my house and inside I am sequestered because I will attract disgust and someone spitting on me. This sounds annoying. Life is tougher than we know. I used to feel I had a bright future, used to believe my work would add up to freedom, now I just want the peace of never having to face this life again.