Losing my mind

I feel sooooooo crazy - in my head I keep playing the worst case scenarios of anything- I think everyone I love hates me- any facial expression, it makes me so depressed I feel sooooooo crazy and off. The “smallest” things set it off. I’m so afraid of losing loved ones it hurts physically to think they don’t want me anymore- they are my only happy place, this world is nothing without them. I don’t even know where I’m going with this. My mind keeps telling me I am an awful person and maybe I am. I don’t know. I constantly feel as though I can’t trust myself no matter my intentions I even second guess my own actions my own feeling. I constantly “check” to make sure I feel the “right” way. It’s driving me insane. And no professional has EVER helped me in a way that was meaningful. I’m in panic and in tears thinking that if I dint confess every detail of every part of my day to my loved ones then I am being evil.