AIO: I feel like my parents try to compete with me ( especially about pain )

I don’t know if I’m overreacting or if this is a natural response. I’ll try to summarize (sorry if the text ends up being too long)

Since childhood, my parents and I have faced financial difficulties, so they worked more than 12 hours a day. My father has an Intermittent Explosive Disorder, which he refused to treat, and he is an alcoholic. As for my mother, between working and dealing with his addictions, she was always stressed and took her frustrations out on me. In short, there has always been a lack of communication at home.

When I was 16, I had an episode of dystonia in my right foot (it became paralyzed), and while several friends and their parents were concerned, I felt a huge indifference from my own parents. It took them a year and a half to take me to the doctor (healthcare in my country is free, so it wasn’t for financial reasons). I was diagnosed with joint hypermobility and suspected fibromyalgia. I am in pain 24/7, but I manage to cope on most days. After all, without me, our house doesn’t stay clean, so I can’t simply “rest.”

And even with the diagnosis, I still hear comments like these from my parents: “You’re so unmotivated—how are you going to make it to 30?”; “Stop exaggerating”; “You can’t drive today? At your age I didn’t even have a car, you should try harder.” Of course, they aren’t always like this, but unless I’m on the verge of a crisis, in the hospital, I feel like they don’t take my pain seriously.

Currently, as a result of alcoholism plus an accident, my father has a herniated disc. He is in a lot of pain, and we help him with some tasks. However, when I’m not feeling well because of my own health conditions, I’ve heard him say: “And what do you have? I’m the one in pain.” Or, “I’m the one who has real problems.” I was upset yesterday because I have terrible tendinitis in both ankles, and when it rains, it hurts a lot to walk. I said I wouldn’t be able to drive him home, and his response was: “And do you have any health condition that prevents you from doing that?” I was hurt because I realized that my own parents don’t know about the health conditions I’ve had since adolescence. Conditions I take medication for and complain about to them. Even my friends’ parents know and ask about it, but my own parents don’t.

I don’t know if I’m overreacting, since my parents don’t act like this 24/7. I still love them. But this behavior has hurt me since childhood, when I used to pray to be hospitalized so they would treat me with kindness. Today I can see how problematic those thoughts were, but I still feel insecure about whether I’m overreacting.