I [25F] am having a medical crisis and I think my boyfriend [25M] is going to leave me

For context I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years (we have been on and off for 4). We met studying abroad and continued our relationship in multiple cities afterwards. I stayed with him when he went to Spain for a year to teach and moved to la for him when he got into law school. We have faced some trials and tribulations on our own the past year due to transitions into los angeles but have stayed together despite it all. It was his first year of law school and my first year as an elementary school teacher and we were still able to make things work.

I have endometriosis and have had 3 surgeries over the past 4 years to remove painful ovarian cysts and endometriosis tissue. It is the classic endo story where doctors did not believe my pain and I have had to fight relentlessly to get every surgery I have had. I have fought for myself each time and it has been honestly pretty traumatic to be in pain and not be able to receive care.

I recently had surgery 2 months ago to remove another ovarian cyst. It was really hard for me to go through that again and my boyfriend was directly impacted by the struggles I was going through. Even like a week after my surgery he was making comments like I just want you to be yourself again and stuff like that as I was trying to heal physically and emotionally.

I started getting the same pain I had a few months ago again a few weeks ago. I was devastated to be going through this again. I came to him in a very low raw moment where I told him I was scared and sad to be in a body that was against me. He used this as an opportunity to bring up all of the unhappiness he has had in our relationship and dump it on me when I was low and vulnerable. He said things such as “you dominate the emotional landscape” “if we had a shared bucket of problems and i added any water to it it would overflow because you take up all the room in it” “I don’t know what version of you i am going to get” “I am terrified to tell you how i feel”. “maybe you need to be with someone more emotionally intelligent and that has more time to give than me cause i am going to be a lawyer”. I was floored by all of this and had no idea…

We haven’t been able to revisit the conversation in full because of the holidays. He came to see my family for only 2 days and we put on good face and now he is in Amsterdam with him family for three weeks. I require another surgery for another ovarian cyst right now. I was diagnosed with it before he left and he is well aware of the situation. I am now fighting to get surgery again and am battling insurance because they are rejecting to pay for my medical care.

My boyfriend has been distant since he left and asked for space over text with no end in sight. I feel so sad that he is pulling away in a time of need. I don’t know what to do. Am wondering if he just isn’t capable of supporting someone with a chronic illness or if it is something I did wrong:(