Christmas time is so bittersweet

Christmas Eve: BM texts us she’ll drop them off in a little bit, this is at 9:30 AM. DH asks at 1:30 PM when they are coming… She says SS11 is in the shower, be there soon! They arrive at 3 PM, SS9 has a dirty face, no lunch eaten- but hot chips and soda in hand!

Christmas Day: BM is 1/2 an hour late to get kids - shows up in booty shorts yelling, “merry Christmas buttholes!” To the kids. Because why be a grown adult when you can act the same age as your preteen.

Boxing Day: kids are dropped off around 9:30 AM not having eaten breakfast and with SS9 being shot close to his eye with a BB gun - no communication about this event at all. (Won’t go into detail here, but their new “stepdad” is ex military/also emotionally 12. Yes DH had a whole lot to say and it there was a resolution of, no.)

Me and SS11 go for a walk where he basically tells me when his mom is upset the whole house is arrested by her state. Later that night, SS9 cries to DH about how fast BM and her guy moved. (Birthday party in April was a different boyfriend, this boyfriend showed up at the birthday party in September. They have a new stepbrother and have moved across town from the apartment they’ve lived in for six years.)

12/27: SS9 asks DH if he needs more attention from him, and if he asks me for too much because he wants to make sure DH knows SS9 still loves him etc. (why is a child so worried about his parents emotional state? I wonder why?)

12/28: we actually get a text a day ahead of time asking for us to keep the kids extra time, we will get them an extra day and a half… They will be with their mother for about 24 hours and come back to us before they go back to her for the weekend.

I am so sad that these kids have such an emotionally immature mother that they know they have to take care of and make excuses for all the time… They were actually quite pleased to stay with us an extra day and a half, which is heartwarming and also gut wrenching.

I cried on Christmas Day because being in the throes of coparenting with a high conflict individual is not what I wanted for my life, but here I am trying to love these boys with my whole heart and soul and raise them just as I would raise my own.

How was everyone’s Christmas? Any wins out there?