struggling again with daydreaming

I didnt know what to put as the title im kinda rlly nervous to post this cuz i never ever post on reddit but i just need to talk about this

I have struggled with maladaptive daydreaming since i was very young, it was very bad from the ages of 12-16 when i was going through a lot of mental health struggles so i basically used it as an escape. It got to the point where if i stopped daydreaming I would breakdown, and my whole reality practically broke and I ended up going into psychosis when i was around 15.

I got therapy for my depression, and was put on anti depressants and also my life improved, so it got easier and I slowly daydreamed less however it still was a big problem it was just manageable. This lasted a couple years but im now 19 and everything has kinda come crashing down, my daydreaming has gotten really bad to the point i am basically back where i was at 15. I am not in education nor have a job, most days I am just in my bed. I am getting depressed again, i am getting anxious and my memory has gone to shit. I feel like i am losing passion in my art, which is all that i have as a goal and i feel like i will lose my chance to actually make it into something.

I am constantly in a different world in my mind, and it feels like my reality is breaking again. I feel constantly drained, I wish so badly that i could have the energy to live a normal life, but i just cant seem to snap out of it long enough to actually do anything.

I know that what I need to do is talk to my parents and seek therapy again but I just cant, i really dont want them to know im bad again and I dont want to go through the process of getting therapy because it was so so difficult for me back when i was younger. I dont really have anyone to talk to about this which is why i decided to post here cause after reading other peoples struggles with daydreaming it makes me feel less alone