I hate being broke

I am trying to get a job just so i can spend all my salary on weed and beer. That's my only goal in life right now, to not have to be sober. I haven't been able to keep one for long enough to get good money because im drunk and retarded (autistic, but the rest of the world just calls me retarded so i like to own it). I would be so so happy if i could just have an infinite ammount of beer and weed. I already drink like 4 to 5 liters everyday and mix it with a couple of blunts and benadryl but it's not enough, and some days i have to endure sober because i run out of money so fast. Those are the worst. I never want to be sober again, I'm not capable and i don't want to. I even chose to study a career that could disguise my alcoholism: funeral assistant. Smell like shit because of the alcohol (breath, sweat)? the corpses smell worse and no one notices. Have a permanently miserable facial expression, eyebags and redness all over the face? it's normal because of the bodies and the grief. Can't even form a sentence? nobody wants to talk in that situation anyways. Shaking hands? Nobody even realizes it when you are alone working on a body, and when they see it they don't really give a fuck as long as you get it done. I've already done several servicies for my apprenticeship and haven't gotten a single complaint. And it pays well. So yeah i will be working with corpses for the rest of my life just so i can never be sober again and afford my drugs of choice. And if i succed i will be happy forever until i kill myself when i get bored. I was planning to do it when im 30 but idk, im 26 right now and there's some people who might be sad about it so maybe i'll wait even longer. Anyway im using this shit like a diary, hope you liked it, i don't really care anymore. 🪑Sillas (Everyone here says chairs and idk why so i decided to make it spanish. Sillas motherfuckers)