Idk if I’m overthinking or reacting

Me and my stepmom have always had a complicated relationship. She adopted me when I was 6. Before that, I was mute, so it took a lot of patience to get me to talk.

She has two biological kids—my younger sister and brother. Growing up, my sister would say things like “you’re just adopted” or “you’re not even my real sister,” and when I cried, my parents would just say, “well, it’s true.” That stuff stuck with me.

Christmas is always tense. I usually help cook and clean, and when I came home from uni this year, the first thing my mom said was, “can you help with the dishes?” I know she needs help, and it felt like slipping back into the old routine.

Throughout my childhood, she had emotional outbursts where she’d yell at me, then get mad at me for not crying or reacting—because it made her feel like I didn’t care. I always excused it, telling myself she’s a product of her own upbringing. I’ve given her a lot of grace. She preaches kindness and forgiveness constantly, but she’s never extended that same grace to me.

She got mad at me again on Christmas Day while I was visiting my aunt and cousins. I didn’t even open the text at first—I was exhausted. The day before, she’d already snapped at me and said some hurtful things about my old best friend, and it felt intentional, like she just wanted to hurt me.

When I finally read the texts, it started because I said I cooked the turkey and helped with other things this year—which I did. She took it as me implying she did nothing. Then it spiraled into how I never call or text, how I think I’m better than everyone, how I don’t care about her or my siblings. It was one of her “tamer” emotional tangents, but I could tell she wanted a reaction. So I didn’t respond.

And then it hit me: I don’t actually have to stay and take this. I can go home—hours away—to my place, where I don’t get yelled at, don’t have to constantly clean, and don’t absorb someone else’s bad days.

So I called my brother and asked him to drive me back. Now I’m home, on my couch, watching Hamilton and eating KD, waiting for my roommates/best friends to come back from break.

I don’t feel guilty… but part of me keeps wondering if I overreacted, or if I actually did something wrong.