I think I'm hypersexual but I'm not sure

I won't disclose my age for personal reasons, my pronouns are she/they, and from a very young age I was exposed to sex/ sexual references, and I've always had a weird thing for sexual topics or thoughts, it maybe started when I was 6, I didn't know what it was but I would think about sexual things I didn't know was sexual and I would get a good feeling. I didn't know what it was but I would keep thinking those things to get that good feeling again, and again. It's always been apart of me, until I got into middle school, I was exposed to so much more, and I discovered fanfics. If you don't know what this is, it's a story or short story of porn or anything sexual with two fictional or more characters. I was so into it, and I began to keep a journal to write all my person sexual preferences and scenarios of my "OCs" (original characters) in middle school I didn't have much friends and spent a lot of my time alone, my parents were also going through a messy divorce which effected my life and my mental health, I would engage in self harm, and I went through multiple therapists, even ending up in a mental facility multiple times at that time. I used my writing to help me escape from reality and help me get that "good feeling" when I felt bad. I also would masterbate alot while thinking of my fanfics. My grades were horrible, and my in real life relationships were bad. The only thing I could think about what porn, it seemed like the solution for everything. One day my mother found my porn filled journal, and freaked the fuck out, she said that I was disgusting and perverted, and a porn addict. She threw away most of my journals, i kept writing more though. I refused to believe her, but she seemed right. When I looked in the mirror that's all I saw, a disgusting perverted person. I never really told anyone about my life behind closed doors, as I would grow up and make more friends and even get a girlfriend. I've tried to keep these thoughts in my head and out of books, I've tried to distract myself with other things, and im still trying to get over this weird addiction, anyways thank you for reading all this and hearing me yap for a bit, and to all the other teenagers who are/were like me and going through similar things I just want you to know, that there is a community for you, and it's not like porn is a bad, horrible thing, it maybe just what you use to cope, and in my opinion that is okay! Just don't let it take over your life like it did to me! Love you guys! Also first post btw ! (*≧ω≦)