Narcissism or Reactive Abuse

Hello. I’m not sure how to navigate this question but I’ve been with my spouse for 4 years, married for 3. For clarification I’m 30M and she’s 30F. How do you differentiate narcissism itself and narcissistic tendencies? I feel as if my spouse has tendencies but not a true narc or maybe it’s reactive abuse and I’m completely wrong. When we have disagreements and arguments, she will try to spin the argument to make me look like the bad guy or guilt trip me. When I’ve told her recently that I don’t feel like I can come to her with issues, she’ll say give me receipts of why you can’t come to me and react very aggressively to me.

I’m sorry for the long read but I feel as if I can’t speak to her anymore without feeling like I’m the bad guy because I’m trying to communicate my feelings with her.