Am I dodging too many hints? What is going on? (19m) and (20f)

Let me start this by saying that I have never been in a relationship before and have hardly even dated at all. The most experience I’ve had was in high school, where I got love bombed and played by a girl, which had undesirable effects on me. So please forgive me for anything in the post that you may find ignorant. I’ll be calling myself Benny for this post.

I met this girl on my campus in October on a particular floor for recreational purposes and socializing. I was sitting in my usual spot around a group that I was kind of familiar with since I knew one or two people there, but I wasn’t really talking with them much. I was just sitting there reading a comic on my laptop as they were playing video games. While I was doing that, one of the girls there asked me what I was reading, which began a conversation where we got to know each other (I’ll call her F).

I didn’t think much of it, as I genuinely wasn’t attempting to get her to like me or anything like that — I just liked talking to her. Later that same week (she was only on campus on Mondays and Wednesdays), there was a minor event happening on that floor where they were going to play a movie on the TV. She asked me if I was going to be there to watch it, and I said no because I wasn’t — I was going to attend a club meeting that I was curious about. After the meeting was over, I stayed on campus for a bit longer, and she then showed up and started talking to me again.

This never stopped. She pretty much knew where to find me, and she was happy to talk to me each time. There was even another time where she was volunteering selling donuts for a club on campus. She saw me in my usual spot and was going to talk to me after she was done, but I was instead called over by another friend of mine to go where she was. She had told him and everyone else there that she was about to go talk to me.

Throughout these conversations, she made it clear that she had quite a high opinion of me. Despite the language barrier (she mainly speaks Spanish and I only speak English), she expressed that I speak clearly enough for her to understand and that she truly feels comfortable speaking with me. We talked about all kinds of things — stuff I like to geek out about (mainly Spider-Man), video games, movies, and even some more personal stories where we shared our past dating experiences (she’s been cheated on before).

One day, she had to work on a project for her class and was going to sit at a table with another friend of hers. She asked me to sit at the table with them. We were talking and having a decent conversation until she dropped, in the middle of it, “So my boyfriend was driving me around the other day.” I politely ended the conversation shortly after that and left.

I wasn’t even sad or really disappointed — I just felt kind of weird speaking to her and getting somewhat close to her as a guy despite her having a boyfriend. I was worried that I might be part of something inappropriate or unwise, even though I don’t believe she was necessarily doing anything wrong.

Eventually, a week or two later, as I was sitting in my usual spot, she showed up again and we had another long conversation. During this one, she told me that she had broken up with her boyfriend and that she was the one who decided on it. She said she felt like she had forced herself into a relationship she didn’t really want and that she no longer felt the need to be in one just to be in one.

I honestly don’t know how this even came up, since I didn’t ask, but she also told me that she had mentioned me to him and talked about me along the lines of, “I met this guy called Benny the other day and we talked about Spider-Man.” She later clarified that her boyfriend — or ex at that point — wasn’t the jealous type. I responded very neutrally to all of this. While I continued to politely participate in the conversation, I didn’t attempt to flirt or escalate anything.

One day in early November, she asked me for my Instagram after seeing me pull my phone out and noticing I was on the app. She said she had been meaning to ask me and that she wanted to ask two days earlier but didn’t because she saw I was talking to another friend and didn’t want to bother me.

I’m not the only guy she’s met and befriended on campus, though. There’s another guy she’s spent time talking to and playing video games with. One of them — I’ll call him K — met her in October during a Halloween event on the floor. He was a lot more forward than I was and offered to drive her somewhere, which she politely declined. However, when they went into a haunted house room together and something genuinely scared her, she got closer to him.

K was also very into photography, and she kind of was too, so they planned a photography outing together. She invited other friends, but they declined. From what I saw, the pictures they took were platonic — no photos of them together, just pictures of herself and buildings. Still, I considered them a potential thing and kept to myself.

The day after they hung out, K sat next to me in my usual spot, probably expecting her to show up, which she did. There was a whole group talking, and I wasn’t really involved. She noticed this and asked me if I wanted to sit next to her on the floor. I politely declined at first, but then she asked me what video games I’d been playing recently, which eventually led me to sit with her and talk.

She then asked if I wanted to get something to eat. I said sure and told her I could drive. K overheard this and invited himself, making it clear that he could also drive and that his car was closer. She accepted this, and I didn’t resist either. I told her she could go in his car.

I tried to avoid going because I felt weird, but I was unsuccessful. We exited the building in different directions, which she noticed. She asked if I was going or not, and I reluctantly said yes. I even texted K saying I felt weird and asked if he was comfortable with me going, since he likes her. He replied, “That’s up to you, she wants you to go lol.”

We all went in his car to eat, but we didn’t talk much. After returning to campus, I left in my own car. Later that night, around midnight, she texted me saying, “Hey Benny, I hope you are good. I just wanted to say thank you for coming with us. Even though we didn’t talk, it was a pleasant time. I hope you had a good time. Sorry for texting so late.” I replied, “No problem F, I had a good time too and I’ll be down to do it again.”

After that, I started questioning whether she viewed me platonically or if she might have some interest in me. Weeks went by, and she continued talking to me most times she saw me in my usual spot. There was even one time she wanted to show off her Spider-Man outfit to me since she knows I’m a big fan.

Another time, she walked past me with a friend and said, “Hello Benny,” while making a heart symbol with her hands. I also noticed she would sometimes play with her hair while talking to me, and she even compared me to Andrew Garfield at one point.

What’s kept me cautious is that she’s very friendly and has a mixed group of friends — guys and girls. I’m pretty sure she mostly hangs out with guys in groups when other girls are present, but I still tried to be careful.

After Thanksgiving break, she approached me from behind while I was talking to a friend and told me she meant to send me a “Happy Thanksgiving” message but wasn’t able to. In December, my friends and I decided to go to Denny’s to celebrate the end of the semester. We were already in my car when she called me and said she heard about it from someone on campus and asked if she could join.

She went down to the first floor to wait for me, and I picked her up. After Denny’s, I went to a store to buy a small toy for a campus toy drive and dance. I chose a Spider-Man toy, and she told me she intended to get me a Spider-Man item she had mentioned to her mom but kept forgetting. I again took that neutrally and just said thank you.

The week after, at the event, she sent me messages saying, “Hey Benny,” “How are you,” “Are you going to the event?” and “I’m heading there.” I didn’t see them until after she arrived. At the event, we were sitting at a table with friends. She asked if I was okay because I was very quiet, but I explained that I was fine and that’s just how I usually am. She jokingly replied, “You’re the nonchalant final boss.”

I complimented her and told her she looked good, and she said I did too. She took some non-serious photos with me that looked like she was trying to mog me. Later, she asked me to dance. I did, but it wasn’t intimate, and my dancing was extremely awkward. We eventually split up on the dance floor.

After the event, she sent me the photos of us. On Christmas Eve, she texted me, “Merry Christmas bennyyyy,” and I replied, “Merry Christmas F, and have a happy new year!” I was left on sent.

Whatever’s going on, I’ll be seeing her again in January on campus. What should I do? How have I handled this situation, and how should I handle it going forward?