Quitting weed with BPD

Hey, I have BPD (27, female) and I am smoking weed for over a year, now daily. I got diagnosed with bpd on summer 2024. Then my ex broke up with me a few days later. It was probably the most difficult time of my life. I was in a crazy mental state, couldn’t function normally. They gave me antidepressants, I tried multiple of them in the past year, but on every one of them I had bad side effects. I smoked weed sometimes before, but after that i just started smoking more often to feel kinda normal and to turn of my non stopping thoughts. I was going to therapy, DBT group sessions and I started to feel really better. Now I feel really good about my mental health, I am off meds for almost a year now, but I realised I smoke all the time and it is not a good thing. Before eating, before sleeping, before basically every activity. I don’t mind and I actually like being high sometimes with my friends (don’t wanna just quit forever just turn it down to maybe 2 times a week?) I tried to stop yesterday, but I cannot. I am like in a mania or something. 24 hours in and I kinda shake, cannot just chill, have to move and do something all the time, my head is spinning and thoughts are everywhere. Can someone give me some tips? I feel like weed is still 1000% better for me than antidepressants, but my addiction is too much. I fell like being sober with my own head is too much. Also I feel like I am more creative on in and all. But I also feel nauseous all the time and cannot eat when I am not high (I am lately having some stomach issues and have to have a operation) - also i have developed some eating disorder now, I lost so much weight in the past year because of it. Any tips could help, please don’t be mean, English is my second language. 🫶🏼 thank you all