Do you guys also have a hard time genuinely loving people? But still being kind and empathetic just not really feeling love

I don’t tell anyone I love them because i genuinely don’t feel love. Maybe it’s bc my family is terrible and everyone had wronged me several times and I just deal with them rather than actually love them. I never miss them, I never think of them unless I’m mad. Idk, I loved one girlfriend and that’s like all the love I ever had. Don’t get me wrong, I’m the one who accepts apologies all the time and still tolerates them, and I’m a nice person. But I’m nice just because it’s like a “why not” situation and don’t see any benefit in being mean because it only has negative consequences. But it’s not like I feel the type of love where I’ll call someone out of the blue and say I miss them or say I love you back. It might be fucked up but idk