Radical acceptance

Has anyone ever been successful? I'm really trying to accept that things happen that I'll never know, but not knowing stuff, being in the dark, is one of my biggest triggers. My FP totally disappeared for 2 days with no explanation (never happened in 4 years) and popped up twice just to say he's ok, then today said he needs space. I have a million questions I want to ask but I can't and I need to accept it but I don't know how to. I'm reading the booklet but it just seems so ridiculous and unattainable. How do I accept stuff that makes me peel my skin off?