Lust for cousin!

I have a past with exploring with older cousins, never went all the way just foreplay like making out, grinding etc.

But i (30m)have this one cousin (f26)whom i like alot, i always found her hot, but never knew when it became like a lust and now i want to really fuck her, I want to see her ride me raw.

We were close but as we got older and busier with our lives, we dont meet as much and just text back and forth, I always felt theres a special connection between us, but i dont wanna do anything that ruins the relationship.

I just watch porn and pretend its us.

I know its bad and i thought i wouls eventually lose the feeling but even though i am taken, i still think of her.

Ps. Please dont ask for pics.