lost my v-card to my childhood friend but i live across the world

I used to be best friends with this guy in kindergarten and we both had that harmless little crush on eachother back then. In short, i would hang out with him quite a lot over holidays and stuff and we were always in the same friendgroup. I then moved overseas (20 hour flight away) when i was 8. I lost contact with him until i was 14 where i came to my home country one summer.

Since then we would hangout plus our whole other friend group whenever i’d come back but i was never extremely close to him or anything to the point where id never text him or anything when id leave, he was simply just within the friendgroup.

This year is my 4th time coming back and Im 17 rn and obviously ive been hanging out with him and all my other friends. For some context, he’s had a huge glow up. Anyways idk what happened but we got a little closer this year and i’ve been here for 3 weeks now.

Last week after Christmas, me and my friends plus him went to this club and we drank quite a bit. I don’t know why or how it happened but we kissed. Next day we’re hanging out and he takes me outside to talk to me to yk sorta clear stuff out and he basically jus said he knows i live far so he doesn’t expect anything from me but he doesn’t want that one kiss to ruin the friendship or make anything awkward between us. I was completely fine with that and agreed with him.

For a bit of backstory, he has this garage that he emptied out and wants to fix it up to create a hangout area for everyone so we can go there. He wanted to start painting it yesterday and no one could yesterday and because i felt bad i told him i’d go over and help him start. So basically i went over at around 6pm cus that’s when his family left and he didn’t want to be making noise and bothering them. We started painting and we were just making very friendly and normal conversation about literally anything. After we finished the first coat we decided to just stop it there and finish up another time so we went back in his house and ordered some food to eat and put on a movie to watch. We were literally sitting on seperate couches at first until this girl from our friend group started texting him and sending him videos while she was drunk so he came and sat next to me so we could both laugh at her texts.

Anyways she stopped texting but he just stayed seated next to me. EXTREMELY LONG story short, we started making out and then he started hinting at something more with his hand placement so we went to his room and the rest is self explanatory (we used protection).

Anyways yall I literally have 17 days left until i leave and im not even gonna be able to see him all those days + next time i come back is summer of 2027. He’s been texting me and saying how he doesn’t regret it and he likes me but he just wishes i lived here and stuff.

I don’t know if i wasted my first time or not because ive known him for my whole life but im not in a relationship with him and i cant even see him often. I dont even know if i regret it because i actually like him and hes a sweet and funny guy but like…this cant go anywhere