I use drugs, I'm 17 and I want to be me again.

It all started this summer when I accidentally chose to go buy meth with my best friend.I was afraid, but before I left I argued with my mother and that pushed me directly to take it. The first time was wow, I took 3 lines, then I took it with my best friend about 2 times a week in the evening, then every outing couldn't be without it, otherwise I wasn't happy. I really felt better and more productive than ever. I also lost weight and felt more beautiful than ever. I also tried ketamine about 3 times, once I drew 3 lines and forgot about myself for 15 minutes. High school started and there was nothing fun there, even if I took meth, the time just passed faster, so it was the month of November in which I kept taking 3 times every 2 days and I also had a break of almost 3 weeks. My friend had started to buy daily and that's how I started too, but I still didn't go shopping alone like she did. The winter vacation came in which right before Christmas I was left without and I went to take it alone. That night everything changed. I made 4 lines because I had started drinking a lot and often in the evening. The mood was totally different, much happier, more energetic, my heart ached more and it was as if I couldn't concentrate on anything, I was spinning. it was different from the meth I buy and I liked it much more. from what I have documented, it is either a stupid md or a meth combined with strong stimulants. the effect lasted longer and passed slowly, i was thinking i can quit consuming in this way I started to use almost a gram daily, I was completely disconnected, I couldn't speak anymore, I didn't sleep for 4 days, I didn't eat anything and I forgot everything and I liked it a lot. one evening I shot again but it was as if I had woken up to reality and I started arguing with my best frisnd and breaking things, the nerves were extreme as if now I woke up in a horrible world I wanted pain but slowly the mood I liked took over me....everything is horrible tomorrow is New Year's and I want to take it for the last time I can't control my nerves anymore I feel like I'm losing everything especially those close to me I cry often and I'm totally changed I look totally different …. I want to get rid of this, I know where it's going and I already have big problems with breathing and the blood coming out of my nose in chunks... I need some advice on what I can do when withdrawal comes and not things like take a walk, I have no one to tell this to and all my life I've helped myself. please help me thx so much😔😔💔😽