39 [F4F] Have you feminists had experiences being degraded?

Coming at this from my perspective of being a very outspoken feminist IRL who gets invited to various conferences and networking events to speak about my experience in the field. Have also been asked to mentor plenty of women in college or early in their careers and I generally give them advice about standing up for themselves, what to report, etc.

That said, deep down I love being degraded, have had it happen plenty and it turns me on incredibly. That dynamic of being a feminist outwardly but secretly almost being a "traitor" to those ideals is something I often grapple with, especially when sometimes at these talks or conferences it'll be less than an hour in between me speaking and ending up getting railed by some outwardly sexist guy.

In particularly interested to talk to other women who consider themselves feminists but actually enjoy submitting to men on some level. Happy to share my own experiences (I've had plenty over the last couple decades) but also curious about yours.

A well written and formulated first message and we'll probably both get a lot more out of the chat.