My (M29) Wife (25F) isn’t supportive of my family’s Christmas traditions

We have been together for 5 years now, just got married last year and had a baby. It was the babies first Christmas. I will try to give her perspective as much as I can to be fair to her, but I genuinely need some advice.

My wife and I both come from divorced parents. She still has a good relationship with both her parents. I was raised solely by my mom, and I rarely ever had contact with my dad, maybe once every few years or so.

My wife has bad anxiety, and she gets really stressed out when it comes to holidays, mainly because we have to go to so many places. Because of this, I took the step and just stopped going to my family’s events with my mom just to cut out a lot of the stress. I did this a little bit for me too, because I don’t really care for seeing my extended family and my mom understands how hard it is with having to go to my wife‘s events so she was fine with it. I don’t see her on Easter, 4th of July, and Thanksgiving.

I have always been very supportive and try to involve myself as much as I can with her family. I have grown close with her father and even invited him to come on vacations with us. I have gone to an overwhelming majority of her family’s events, and they have been very welcoming and I have enjoyed that. My wife has not reciprocated that with my mother. She barely says anything to her when she’s around, and every time I have tried to get her to spend time with her, she declines. I’m okay with this, I understand she’s not an outgoing person.

My mom and sister have kind of a different tradition for Christmas. We like to go out to restaurants we don’t normally go to, mainly ethnic places and try new foods because they are really the only places that are open. It’s been our tradition.

Every year we go, my wife always acts miserable while we are there. while she’s around my family and then when we are alone she complains to me about the food and how she doesn’t like it. Last year we when to an Indian restaurant and she was pregnant, she didn’t eat anything, she just sat there and pouted the whole time.

Every single year for Christmas, I go to her mom‘s on Christmas eve, and on Christmas day we do our thing with my mom, and then we go to her dad’s house to celebrate. We have always done it this way. Well this year, she told her dad that we can celebrate at his house in the morning, overwriting my mom’s event. Completely disregarding the fact that I only ask for 1 morning a year for holidays. One time a freaking year, to just pretend like you want to be there for a couple of hours.

Well she got mad that I said something to her dad about changing the hours, and her family was completely understanding about it. Mind you, my mom and sister are only both available in the morning because my sister has to go to her dads as well. (We have different fathers) She got annoyed that I fixed the situation but whatever, I got to see my mom on Christmas.

Christmas morning comes and we go to a Chinese restaurant, food that I know she likes. We bring our 8 month son, and I’m doing everything I can to make sure shes not the only one taking care of him and getting to enjoy her meal. She pretty much acts the same way, barely speaks to my mom or sister and just sits there and pouts. barely touches her food.

We get in the car and she finally says something that really angered me. Complained to me that the food sucked, and ”why do we always have to do what they want on Christmas” We argued, I got really upset and told her “I have always been there for your family, I don’t complain about your mother’s cooking but it absolutely sucks but I still eat it and I don’t act miserable to be there. I only get 1 morning a year to spend with my family and you can’t even pretend to be happy one morning a year” That set her off “I never asked you to not see your family on holidays”

Long argument short, we eventually get to her dad‘s and make up. But it still has sat with me since. Is my family being unfair that my wife isn’t consulted about where we eat on Christmas? or do I have a right to be upset about this?

TL;DR I see my mom on 1 holiday morning a year, we go out to eat on Christmas morning with my wife, sister and mother. My wife is upset she isn’t consulted about what my side of the family does for Christmas and where we eat. I go to her family’s events every holiday with no complaints about what we do. Am I in the wrong?