Getting the comparison between me and his expartner/bff

Posting a lot right now... I was reading messages between me and my avoidants ex bff. One day they had something. Reading her messages, just lets me feel even worse. Her experience was so different that I realized that he never cared at all about. Apparently he was capable to do some thing for years with his bff, things I wished for. They are now like siblings, bffs. But she is an secure happy relationship now and for sure she doesnt want him back. But I feel like I was never anything to him.