F19 UK Cumbria, I had sex with a 68 year old grandad (finished in me raw) who I met in a pub while I was on a weekend away with my boyfriend x

A few weeks ago me and my partner visited Cumbria for a weekend away to celebrate our anniversary (3rd). We’ve been together for a number of years and currently go to and study together at a university, he is 20 and I am 19. Our living dynamic is that it is me him and his best mate in a 2 bed flat (one shared toilet which hoards some secrets). That flat mate as you can imagine with any 19 year old will flirt with any girl (including his best mates girlfriend) a number of times he’s made passes on me not directly however has stared at my bum or my boobs and also “unknowingly” just walked into the bathroom we share and has seen me naked and has stared for seconds at a time before deciding to leave. Anyhow me and my boyfriend went to Cumbria and had spent 2 days staying at an outdoor hotel sort of pod.

We unfortunately became quite ill when we were there on the first day, unsure to why but we basically spent majority of the time in the pod and only stepped out for food. We had food at a nearby Wetherspoons both days. on the first day I wore a white top with blue jeans and didn’t wear my bra, it’s was insanely cold during the time we went to Cumbria and it wasn’t the best idea to not wear or a bra (or a jumper for that matter) however I’m a idiot who thinks I can’t feel cold and my nipples we’re hard as rocks.

Unfortunately app ordering wasn’t working and I had to go to the bar to place my order and while doing so a older man (He was 68 years old he had grey hair with a waxed jacket and ruffled jeans on a scarf and a top on with some posh boots) he approached me he was tipsy and was offering to buy me a drink to which I politely declined however he insisted and still bought it me. He spent a few minutes complimenting me, he complimented my face my eyes and my lips and when I turned to get my drink and turned back he was literally salivating at my ass. I at this point thought I was loving the attention needed to return to my boyfriend as it was a while I was away.

When I returned to my seat I just passingly mentioned their was a man at the bar who was just a bit drunk and was flirting and my boyfriend just laughed it off (this is a shock we go clubbing and pubs a lot so he’s use to being in a place where I get approached for my number or complimented by boys). However surprisingly the old man decided to sit himself opposite my booth with his WIFE (or who I assume to be wife I didn’t really ask). He started grabbing at his crotch and when his wife got up to use the toilet he started pouring at me and rubbing himself more. This went on for a while and continued up until our meal was finished.

Before leaving I got up as I wanted to touch up my makeup before we left and he was their was I came out. He was drunk he gave me a hug he was asking for a kiss and my number I said no no no over and over again however by the end of it I said yes. I gave him my number and he insisted if I rang him he’d bring me some nice clothing to wear he’d get me a spa night and we’d have fun. Unfortunately I’ve always had an age gap kink. I’ve always been found maturer men attractive and when I say maturer I mean 50+ men who are gentleman but really horny and attracted to me.

The next day my boyfriend was in bed and he wasn’t getting out he insisted I bring the Wetherspoons to him. I got up and was bored and gave him a ring with no idea I’d see him. He picked up he was bored he was free and we ended up meeting…. Without going into to much detail it involved a very nice hotel, a very expensive bit of lingerie, expensive sexual toys. A very short span of sex in which I did all the heavy lifting. A lot of him letting go of his sexual fantasies towards me. I was handcuffed, he was handcuffed and I was on top most of the time. I hate to say it, I loved it he made me feel so horny and unlike how I’ve felt in a While, my partner isn’t my only partner, I have previously unknowingly to him cheated once before and it wasn’t that I was with someone else it was the fact I was having sex with someone who’s old enough to be my grandad that was a turn on. It felt disgusting but I enjoyed the disgusting feel.

Issue is I want that feeling again, I was close to getting it however got very very nervous, I want to make someone 3x my age feel good and I want them to play there fantasies on me and appreciate me and treat me with love and like I’m a queen, I want them to play their darkest fantasies and use me to do them, I want to be finished in ans used to please. My boyfriend doesn’t about it and I was able to have the sex cuddle and be back within 2 hours and just made a excuse and showered as soon as I got back so he didn’t suspect me. I love my boyfriend but he can’t fill this void of me wanting me to fuck an older man. It’s sad because I’ve now used the same toys me and he used and the lingerie he bought me while having sex with my boyfriend, should I feel guilty? Yes and do I? Yes i do but I wouldn’t change it for the world because I loved every second. Though I believe if he knew he’d love it. He has many times made me dress in questionable outfits and go out in which my ass would be out, I’d be wearing thongs under skirts an and tops with no bra and he’d encourage it. He’s multiple times lifted my skirt in front of friends and kissed me and made out so I believe he’s cuck and if he knew what I truly what, a small part of me thinks he’d want it to..