Confused, curious, and honestly needing guidance

Hey guys, I’m honestly a bit confused and looking for perspective. I consider myself straight (I think), but I’ve had experiences with men that I really enjoyed — especially with older guys who were calm, reassuring, and guided me while I explored new pleasures. I also crave attention and feeling wanted.

At the same time, I get anxious about STIs with strangers. I feel much safer when someone is upfront and okay with protection; otherwise I tend to pull back.

I’m trying to understand what this mix of curiosity, anxiety, and need for connection means, and how to explore it safely without stressing myself out. Has anyone been in a similar place or have advice on next steps?