I’m being punished for loving him

My husband always drank a lot. although, I don’t think realized the severity of it until i began drinking less myself. so I would see it more from sober eyes. this past year he’s been getting more “mean”. Calling me names, making up stories. his apologies were always pretty surface level.

he was not always a mean drunk, but a pattern that was beginning to happen over the last 6 months or so. He had been taking testosterone for about a year and I wonder if that played a roll. I’m not sure.

He lost his job in 2024. I would say 2025 was perhaps mentally rough on him but I tried my best to be his support system. Once his behaviors started to take a negative turn, I started speaking up. I will admit I said a few harsh things trying to get through to him. however, I am generally always supportive and loving.

He ended things. Not with any respect towards me, no apology, he wouldn’t even look me in the eyes. He just wanted to be done. I saw the pain behind those eyes, he is choosing alcohol instead.

It’s been 4 months since I left the home and he’s being hurtful and rude. I am being treated as if I was the one that caused things and he is taking no part in accountability. So not only do I need to mourn our life together, I am mourning that he has turned in to a completely different person for wanting him to treat himself better… and me.

i guess i don’t have any question. It just hurts to be so left in the cold when all I wanted was for him to be healthier for us.