Considering putting child up for adoption.

My husband and I recently found out the child I am pregnant with will have some complex medical needs. This prompted genetic testing, and well, turns out baby also has down syndrome. We are completely overwhelmed and devastated. We have three small children at home already (1, 3, and 5), a fourth was already going to be a lot....but we really don't know how we can give a medically complex infant with developmental delays the love and care they need, while taking care of three othe small kids, and not completely burn out.

We looked in the national down syndrome adoption network and have been assured if we want to go for adoption there are families waiting to adopt infants with DS, even medically complex ones. Is it terrible we are considering this? Are we just taking the easy way out? Will the grief of giving a child up for adoption be too much for me or hurt my marriage? I brought up the idea first but my husband is very supportive of either adoption or parenting....though I think he is leaning to adoption.

We have plans to speak to a couples counselor and an adoption counselor. I spoke to my mother and she was very supportive of the idea of adoption. My husband talked to his dad and his dad was also very open to the idea and just told my hisband he loves us and wants what is best for all of us.

Honestly...I know if we bring this baby home I will love them. I know we COULD raise them...but there would be a cost. To our mental health, our presence for the other kids, and strain on our marriage, not to mention an innocent baby whose parents will likely be overstimulated and potentially resentful of their very existence.

If there are people out there waiting for a baby like this, is it possibly the best option for everyone?

I'm just so afraid the grief with crush me if we do this, even though it seems like the right thing for everyone, including myself.