Starting the new year with Herpes at 18 (update)

Today I called around for in person appointments and and ended up going to an emergency care. I didn’t really know what I was doing half the time but other people helped me I was very grateful. Sitting in the waiting room I was still holding on to the possibility I don’t have it. I was called into the emergency room and explained my situation to the nurse she told me to sit back down in the waiting room and a general practitioner will see me for a physical examination. I should have done this sooner but my very first instinct was to get tested which involved blood, urine and throat swabbing which I now know was pretty pointless. The doctor came and I explained my situation to him, the words came out easier this time because I said it several times today and yesterday. He examined the broken out area which I thought was my groin but he had told me is closer to my stomach. He stood up and told me it was herpes. Always use protection he said “a shit lesson to learn at 18.” Sitting on the chair next to him typing my prescription for anti virals I didn’t know how to feel, I just felt empty and emotionless. This is most responsibility I’ve had since I turned 18 in September last year and I haven’t told a soul not my parents, closet friends and the girl I’ve slept with. It just doesn’t feel real. My life has permanently changed from arrogant and lustful decision to not use protection. In 4 weeks I’ll have to get another blood test to see the proper results but it doesn’t matter. I have herpes. I know it’s not the worst situation in the world but I feel like starting out as adult in this world with something like this is scary. I feel as though my love life will be heavily impacted as girls my aged probably haven’t experienced partners with sexual health problems. Not to mention the girl I’ve started dating, I’m smart enough to know she isn’t my “soulmate” or “loml” it isn’t serious yet but I do like her a lot and I think she likes me but it feels wrong talking to anyone in a romantic way right now. I just feel empty and filled with regret.