I want to trust God, but I genuinely feel like he put me on this earth strictly to have someone to bully.

I don’t know what I did to deserve such cruelty. Not a single day for the past 11 years has passed in life where I didn’t want to take my life. I don’t know what I did to deserve such cruelty. There’s non-believers having the absolute best years of their lives, meanwhile I’m stuck here in a constant state of depression and suicidal thoughts. I really tried. I spent 11 years trying. This life has been so absolute cruel to me and I’m done trying. He doesn’t care about me and I hope I’m able to have a conversation with him to figure out what I did so wrong to deserve such viciousness in life. Please keep me in your prayers. I hope I don’t end up in hell after I pass, but anything is better than what I’m going through now. Goodbye world. thank you for proving time and time again that I’m a useless waste of space.