Am I misandrist?

I have a friend who is a gay trans man (40) and I'm a lesbian (28) and I would say I have a very 14 year old boy sense of humor like saying deeze nuts or making dick jokes. Especially because as a kid I wasn't really allowed or felt like I could make those jokes due to. A lot of factors etc. That being said it really isn't the only jokes I make.

But recently it had been upsetting my friend, unbeknownst to me, a couple of months back, and they snapped at me by giving me a taste of my own 'medicine.' by going:

"You know OP for someone who is a lesbian you sure are fixated on dicks."

And it really hurt me to the point I kinda cried and shut down. later I had a talk about it with him and I thought it was all cleared up and he even apologized but now I'm thinking it's not that simple.

We were watching some videos together and one came up where I made a comment how I would never do what someone did (eating food from someone's hand) because of how unsanitary some guys could be and I wouldn't know if the person (the guy in the video) would have washed his hands.

I'm kinda a germaphobe. And my friend got really mad at me and decided it was time to have a "talk" of his own on how he told me I came off very misandrist and that I even made his other friend uncomfortable in call because of a comment I made a week ago.

We were all watching a horror show and I made a comment jokingly on how a guy character did something because he was white. (I'm white too so I was more so making fun of the horror stereotype of white ppl do dumb shit) And he somehow focused more on the guy part then the white part.

He said there were other examples he couldn't give, but that it came off like that. Even though I explained above what I actually meant by those comments.

I apologize profusely and told him it was okay, and tht I would make sure to be more mindful.

And we continued to talk.

Which leads to something he said that after reflection makes me feel even worse. I can't say word for word but it essentially boiled down to "well yeah that's why I said that thing to you so you would understand because that's how YOU made me feel"

As if he still didn't feel remorse for what he said, as if that justified anything. As if me making a dumb dick joke and him not coming to me about how uncomfortable it made him and instead saying that awful thing was still JUSTIFIED in his head.

It was like the apology was fake to me now. And worse is I haven't really heard from him for a few days other than some love yous.

And it makes me not want to reach out because I feel like shit. But then I think about it more and I want to know am I justified in feeling like this? Or am I the asshole and I really am misandrist and the comment was deserved?

I'm mostly asking here because I don't have a lot of queer insite into the gay man culture other than my friend and. I really don't want to be a dick to him. Even if on accident.