Why do women dislike when other women bring their male partners or male friends on hangouts?

Hello,

I am 30F (suspect I’m neurodivergent which may be a factor in all of this), and this is something that has always puzzled me! I’m seeking to understand others perspectives on this.

I know it is considered common knowledge among women that you should not bring your male partner along with you to hangouts unless specifically told that they are invited. And it is considered a bit rude or icky to ask if they can come.

I am married and have been in a long term relationship since I was 20 and I make sure never to assume my husband is invited or to bring him along to any of my hangouts. To be clear, my husband only joins in on my hangouts when the invite has specifically included him.

My confusion comes in because I can’t really understand why it’s considered bad. For me, I actually love when people bring their partners to hangouts, it’s more people so it feels like a proper group and the conversation flows an bit better when there is more people which takes the pressure off of up-keeping the conversation. I find the conversation equally as fun and engaging in both girls only and mixed gender scenarios.

In fact, sometimes I find that in girls only scenarios my friends will go into a bit too much detail into their intimate lives and I prefer not to talk about that because I’m a bit uncomfortable with that kind of stuff. But otherwise I absolutely love hanging out with my girlfriends and my male friends.

Even if I’m not familiar with my friends’ male partner it’s always nice to meet new people and I genuinely never mind at all or think it’s rude or annoying. Especially as sometimes people can be socially anxious and if one of my girlfriends brings their partner to help them come out of their shell then that’s great!

Of course I understand there may be some times when as a woman there are some things you don’t want to say in front of a man you might not know very well - totally understandable. But that’s probably not every time you’re hanging out to the point where your pushing for every hangout to be women only (which has been the case in some of my friendships).

I have had a few friends in my life that have been really pushy about girls-only hangouts and have purposefully excluded male friends in a friendship group before and I just never understood it and felt it was a bit mean.

Im grateful to hear perspectives about this! Maybe I’m missing something obvious.