I tried fighting my own problems but ended up hurting her by hiding somethings from her

Recently my Girlfriend broke up with me because hid things about occasional substance use, I walked into a strip club because I was curious (when she found out in a chat) she asked me why i didn’t go with her even though I knew she had a different view on sex work. I didn’t get a lap dance I just sat there. I was also hiding the fact from her I went out with a girl one night after w concert, until 7am and played cards with her and a male friend of hers. I said in a groupchat I was hiding from my girlfriend that this girl was “super hot” but in the first 30 mins of me knowing her I told her I had a girlfriend. Aswell as some messages of me saying horrible things about people involving some slurs. I Posted on my public story admitting to my friends and even told her relatives. I was suffering from a secure safe to sleep for the last few months of our relationship and this is where things started going down hill for me and I went to the strip club. I had the most perfect relationship and ruined it due to my mental downfall and never did something like that again. I said those bad things to seek validation when I was down and for some reason, I didn’t turn to my girlfriend. I betrayed her, Lied to her and trust was completely broken for her. I never committed to my feelings of lust and never touched someone else. The thought of this disturbed me greatly even though I was there. The way I have treated her in person, was my genuine self. Anybody gone through something similar?