Do I Have Depression or Am I Just Feeling Depressed?

Having depression and feeling depressed are two very different things, I know that. Which is why I am here right now to humbly ask for your guys' help to help me evaluate on what exactly I am feeling.

So before I start, I think that it is necessary for me to mention my age; as I know that most of the people within my age range also experience these stuff--- a lot. I just recently turned 16 years old just a few days ago. And for the last 4 years of my life, I've been feeling demotivated to do anything, really.

Let me elaborate.

Unpacking all of my childhood problems here would take a tad bit too long, so I'll just put my focus on my recent problems and the stuff I've been feeling. I don't really know what to call this "feeling", all I know is that I just feel awfully somber whenever I'm not doing something to distract myself. I've BEEN feeling like this, for some parts of my childhood, to be honest. But it noticably worsened during 9th grade when I started questioning my sexuality. Anyways, I came to terms that I was probably attracted to the same gender and started living life in constant shame.

It is also important to note though, that the majority of my childhood problems have already been talked about between me and my parents. I've already moved on from that phase of my life. Which is why I actually have a pretty close relationship with my parents now. Which is ALSO why it makes me hate myself more that I can't be my true authentic self around them. Oh don't get me wrong though, I'm positive that they will accept me. I just hate myself too much for being a coward who can't even stay true to themself. How do I expect myself to be true to the people I cherish the most when I can't even stay true to myself?

Anyways, sorry for the little segue. I think that it's a little important, and shows how my headspace has been for the last 2 years of my life.

I'd also like to point something out. I actually used to have a lot of hobbies back then, like playing instruments, drawing, and watching shows and movies. Now I can't even finish a single song on the guitar, nor can I finish a drawing, nor can I even finish a single series before getting completely demotivated because it's "too long" and I don't trust myself to actually get motivated enough to finish it. Now, that's not to say that me not being interested in my hobbies anymore means that I'm depressed now. I actually still keeped my hobby of reading and writing. But the fact that the only ones that stayed were the ones that helps me escape reality tells me a lot.

This is the one thing that's also concerning me a lot actually. I'm one of the top students in my class, I've been a top student ever since I started studying. But now, It's like I'm just a shell of my former self. I used to love studying, now it's more like an obligation more than anything. The thought of going to school fills me with so much dread, and the only time of day when I truly feel happy is when I'm laying down in my bed reading stories. I get so immersed in the stories. So much so to the point that I don't even feel like studying and doing my projects anymore. I genuinely lost a sense of urgency for any of those thins, It's like I don't even care anymore.

Anyways, I can probably write a little more. But unfortunately, it is midnight right now and I need to sleep as I have school tomorrow. Thank you for whoever took time to read this, and especially those who are kind enough to answer.