am i the asshole for missing my boyfriend.

let me start this by saying i have a lot of mental problems he was aware of since before we got together, i know they arent an excuse for any of my actions but they are a reason.

about a month ago now i had broken up with him in the middle of an episode thinking its what i wanted, it was not. im not the best communicator but yesterday i was trying my hardest to get through to him about how i was feeling, we had been talking every day since the break up and still saying i love you and stuff but i noticed he had already been talking to other girls so soon after the break up so i mistakenly brought that up.

he ended up blocking me on everything out of no where after i was honest about my feelings, he had been telling me before that i cant admit when im in the wrong so i was trying to do that and i guess i didnt do it right?

i should probably also add he was on the phone with friends during all this but after he blocked me across social medias i called him, he ended up answering and we talked a little bit he told me he wanted to get back together and hes willing to work on things with me, we did end up getting back together in that moment and he told me to call him back in an hour to talk about things, he didnt, he ended up blocking me on everything again with no explanation other than things he told me was willing to work through our whole relationship.

i just dont understand, we rarely fought and when we did we always made up fast, we were both loyal, i was trying so hard to be good for him. can someone really make the decision to throw away a relationship and friendship that lasted three years in the span of two hours? i feel like everything he says he felt for me was a lie i dont see how you can do this to someone you claim to care about.