My thoughts

I don't know why I am so attracted to sex work as something I could do.

I'm a student, I don't have much money to live by and even if I know that sex-workers are very marginalized, that extra income could be useful for me to live and go by, not worry about heating my 10sqm appartment, but at what cost?
Maybe it is just simply for me a desire to learn my sexuality, discover sex through one weird way, or is it more than that?
I've never had sex. Maybe all this is just a (weird) phantasm?
But perhaps it is also a way of affirming my gender, and thus myself, through the perception of my body by men as attractive, desirable, and in direct opposition of what being a man is. Feeling attractive, desired by men in order to define myself as truly a woman.
There is a last theory I've thought about, what if this obsession I've had is just another way of self harming?
Is this rawness, this crudeness just another way of self-harming, or maybe is it because sex workers, especially trans feminine sex workers, are very likely to suffer from abuse, neglect, rape and more ad that all this is just another way of self-harming without actually holding the blade so to speak?

Surely the complete answer lies somewhere in between all this, but I still don't know what to do...