My wife(LLF) and my (HLM) frequency has slowed way down. This has led me down a path I didn’t expect. Am I going to far?

So we have slowed down from a couple times a week to now maybe once every 4 to 6 weeks. I have tried initiating and tried talking to her about it, but I am getting nowhere. So I did turn to porn to take care of myself, and during one of those sessions I saw a guy dressed in lingerie. So I decided to try on some old lingerie my wife had and it felt very sexy. I got addicted, I am even on cam showing off sometimes showing off and the attention I get really excites me. I recently tried doing some anal play with myself. The last session got soo intense I ordered a realistic toy. Now I am concerned. First, I haven’t had something that size in me and I’m also worried that I am going too far. What are your thoughts?