I WANT TO DIRNK SO BAD

9 Months sober. A girl that i love made me quit, outclassed therapy, pills and all the profesional help. But shees so mean to me sometimes, and i want to get fuckign drunk just to hurt her. I fucking suck.. i never felt that i want somekind of payback when shes shit me, first time that i feel that.. and oh boy i question my integrity for wanting to piss her off...