2026 Tech-Bro Attire?

Yea, though I walk through the Silicon Valley in the shadow of the 2025 Calendar Year, I fear not the conformity of fitting in.
I reject individuality and embrace the soulless grind, for souls are for shoes and not for tech-bros. I want to be the envy of the LinkedInLunatics.

So what am I wearing this year? Rather, what are we wearing this year?
It can't still be Lulus and Patagonia vests.