Awful Experience at Torrance Memorial Medical Center

Just a PSA: Torrance Memorial Medical Center is the most unprofessional, bureaucratic hospital I’ve ever dealt with.

Despite California law allowing hospitals to consider multiple possible surrogates for an incapacitated patient, Torrance Memorial gave full control to a manipulative, completely self-centered spouse and repeatedly justified banning me from seeing my touch-and-go ICU father with “we have to respect the wishes of the wife.” Any pushback was met with some version of “take it to court.” They also upheld this ban for my father’s elderly sister and mother but allowed anyone else in that my mother approved of.

The nurses were often cruel, rude, and humiliating toward family members my mother didn’t like. Multiple relatives were treated with open contempt, and it genuinely felt like we were being punished for being labeled a problem family and the most aggressive, unprofessional, and cruel nurses were assigned to my father as we continued to seem problematic to the nursing staff.

Dr. Hugo Hool in oncology (at least, in my experience—YMMV) has an atrocious bedside manner. He was dismissive, arrogant, condescending, and quick to accuse us of consulting “Doctor Google,” while expecting hefty praise for what he framed as some special, unorthodox treatment for my father that was only done on a sign of “goodwill” from the hospital.

I never want to step foot in Torrance Memorial again, and I hope very few people have experiences like this.

TL;DR: Humiliating, hostile experience. If your family looks dysfunctional, expect family members to be treated poorly and if a toxic spouse has power, the hospital will back them no matter what. Nurses can also be extremely unprofessional, cruel, and rude to family members.