long overdue a trip to the looney bin

i will one day die. very soon. I'm 19, about to turn 20. I have no will, no dreams, nothing of worth. perhaps i am a pussy who wants to take the easy way out... but living life is the hell mentioned in the bible. ive wasted my life, i don't laugh and hang out with people like I used to. I rot. Alone in my room. It's dreadful. but worst of all, I have no worth in this world, meaning my death and entire existence in itself would only be known by my family, friends, and coworkers, if they even remember me 10 years from now. i wish people would take mental health seriously. i know it's cliched to talk about how much men are overlooked when it comes to mental health and depression, but it's true. I just get called cringe, a chud, some degenerate loser online for not wanting to live. So I will be gone very soon. I don't want to live. I don't want to die either, but is there really any other option?