Stuck and don't know what to do

I'm in my late 50s, and I'm starting to come to terms with what I've been fighting since I was a teenager.

I grew up in a deeply southern, deeply Conservative family. They had zero tolerance for the LGBTQ community. I remember a time when I had a feeling for my best friend and was so terrified I shut her out of my life. She later came out after moving for college and never came back.

I pushed away the truth, till I was able to even fool myself. I eventually got married, had a couple kids and went on with life.

30 years on now and my husband is little better than a roommate. We haven't done anything in almost a year and I can't even remember the last time he said I love you.

That part of me that I locked away for so long has come back in full force and I don't know what to do. I'm pushing 60 and I'm struggling to keep up the farce and I'm on the edge of a breakdown.

I don't know what I'm expecting to achieve posting this here, I guess I just needed to vent.

Sorry for waisting your time