The post-sex blues with an avoidant.

Omg, is this a avoidant man being a lying a**hole or is he just lazy and doesn’t want to put in the work once the chase is over?

My avoidant just spent a month begging me to be his lover again, promising to make all the changes, blah blah blah. He chased me for a full month, I let him back in and kept an eye on his actions. I allowed myself to be intimate once again and then he immediately hit the EJECT button and disappeared (2nd time now). No warnings other than me noticing his texts started feeling off the day after and I could sense we were returning to the same pattern.

Has this been your experience with your avoidant? This man is my FWB, we are not in a real relationship. He has pursued me to be his lover that he can see on a consistent basis. Instead it has turned into us talking daily, we have sex and then he disappears for a month. The first time, I was SOOOOO hurt (destroyed is more like it). This time, I’m curious and wondering WTH is going on with him.

We are sexually mismatched. I’m a deep feeler and I need to have a connection in order to have sex (a demisexual, I guess). He obviously does not BUT he told me he wanted the connection part and he tries to be emotional/intimate with me - cuddling, bed talk, all that stuff.

It don’t know if it’s guilt, shame, disgust, fear?!?